A Simple Guide on Improving Your Emotional Intelligence
The root to self-care and mental wellbeing is managing your emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence is the capability to recognize your own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one's goal(s).
Here's an example of emotional intelligence, imagine you're going to work. You start your day out slow. You woke up late. Got into an argument with your partner. Not to mention you were stuck in traffic for over an hour and some jerk cut you off!
So, now you're at work. Wound up as a result of all that you've went through prior to arriving at work. But you're at work now and you're pouring yourself a cup of coffee (trying to calm down and get your bearings) and your coworker, Matthew comes in hysterical. He's had the same type of chaotic morning like you did but he's losing his mind because Frank in HR didn't hold the elevator door open for him. So he's feeling all types of disrespect and wants the world to know about it. Now, Sue comes in and she's trying to calm down Matthew but is failing as her voice is raising and this is now becoming a very heated discussion.
Now here you are. Still annoyed by your partner. Still a little anxious because you arrived to work incredibly late and traffic sucks. But you're calm. You're looking at your colleagues and assessing the situation. You've been looking at them and listening to their points. You've been able to isolate that Matthew is feeling disrespected. Not just by Frank but by others as well. You pick up that Sue feels no one is taking her seriously. Well, you could go over to them and join in on the madness and start arguing with them. Or you could calmly walk over to them and ask Matthew for some help with an email you're drafting and ask Sue if you could speak with her later.
What this does is break the pattern these two were experiencing. They were in a loop of bickering. By you calmly walking over to them ignoring their argument and asking direct questions stopped that loop. By identifying that Matthew isn't feeling respected you give him a task that displays your respect for him, which breaks down his barrier and allows him to calm down. Speaking with Sue later allows her to get her issues across, get undivided attention and lets her know that you want to hear what she thinks. What you've done is validate these two individuals by using your emotional intelligence. Everyone has E.I but to different degrees.
If you want to improve your emotional intelligence focus on these 5 things:
Self-awareness – the ability to know your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, values and goals and recognize their impact on others while using gut feelings to guide decisions.
Self-regulation – involves controlling or redirecting your disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances.
Social skill – managing relationships to get along with others.
Empathy – considering other people's feelings especially when making decisions.
Motivation – being aware of what motivates you.
We hope that was helpful! Bye for now.............................